hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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