i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she smelled like a LAN party
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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