We won't sleep together?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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