I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
