If i come over, it means nothing
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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