Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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