I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
