i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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