Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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