I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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