He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize