His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
