pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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