toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
