Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
