Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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