we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of course I have a pirate flag
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
