Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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