apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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