i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize