I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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