So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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