I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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