ya dads aren't the best wingmen
4 words: hood of his car
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
