one might say we're banned from that church
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
