Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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