remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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