The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
