Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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