How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
