Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
