Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
