"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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