I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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