At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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