people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
