it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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