They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
