she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
