There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
