dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
