I'm going to jail i love you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize