I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
