if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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