Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
