Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
