so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
