I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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