I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
