the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
