it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
