When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
