I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
