32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
