I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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