she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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