So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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