You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize