Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize