that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
