btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
