I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
