You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
