I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
