I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's always time for handjobs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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