i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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