Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
