I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Randomize
