Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
