you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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