it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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