I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dick very happy bro
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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